Yes, I know. I have not written a post since Sunday.
And yes, I also know that you have all missed me very much, and that your life has been meaningless without me. (Even if you haven't missed me, pretend you have. Boost my ego a bit.)
ANYWAY. How desperately you all love me is not the object of my article today.
Yesterday morning, as I glanced at a male friend's Facebook status (OK, fine. Yes, I was Facebook-stalking him. But everybody does that. The difference between everybody else and me is that I have the integrity and purity of heart to admit it), something tugged at my eyeball (I like creating gruesome-sounding metaphors):
And underneath that status was a string of testosterone-filled comments such as "Boo ya" and "Damn right" and "Hot girls? I didn't know they existed at this uni", etc.
A question thus formed itself in my head: Is male activity in the library strictly limited to just checking out girls?
I was eager to find out, and therefore questioned several students.
"My guy flatmates sit in the library rating girls out of ten," affirmed my friend Miss Smiley Face, a second year Literature student. "They sit around for hours doing that. Sometimes they do it alone, sometimes in groups [ed: no innuendo intended by source]. They rarely, in fact they never, pluck up the courage to talk to them, though."
Mr Al, a third year engineering student, nonchalantly confirmed that claim: "Yeah, I just go to the library for my daily dose of female eye candy. The library truly is the place to oggle at fit girls." Hmm. Creepy.
But do female students in the library have the same benefits? I carried out my investigation.
"Nah, no hot guys there. Or they're very rare," sighed Miss Jo, a second year Accountancy student. "I just get a group of acne-ridden boys drooling in the vicinity. It can get very alarming and it sometimes even disrupts my study-time."
So is there really no hope for girls to find the love of their life in the campus library?
I interviewed my friend Token Science Nerd who was kind enough to enlighten me further.
"You won't make a match with a Science student there, we don't use it much," he stated.
And yes, I also know that you have all missed me very much, and that your life has been meaningless without me. (Even if you haven't missed me, pretend you have. Boost my ego a bit.)
ANYWAY. How desperately you all love me is not the object of my article today.
Yesterday morning, as I glanced at a male friend's Facebook status (OK, fine. Yes, I was Facebook-stalking him. But everybody does that. The difference between everybody else and me is that I have the integrity and purity of heart to admit it), something tugged at my eyeball (I like creating gruesome-sounding metaphors):
"Mister Dude now knows where to find all the hot girls: in the library."
And underneath that status was a string of testosterone-filled comments such as "Boo ya" and "Damn right" and "Hot girls? I didn't know they existed at this uni", etc.
A question thus formed itself in my head: Is male activity in the library strictly limited to just checking out girls?
I was eager to find out, and therefore questioned several students.
"My guy flatmates sit in the library rating girls out of ten," affirmed my friend Miss Smiley Face, a second year Literature student. "They sit around for hours doing that. Sometimes they do it alone, sometimes in groups [ed: no innuendo intended by source]. They rarely, in fact they never, pluck up the courage to talk to them, though."
Mr Al, a third year engineering student, nonchalantly confirmed that claim: "Yeah, I just go to the library for my daily dose of female eye candy. The library truly is the place to oggle at fit girls." Hmm. Creepy.
But do female students in the library have the same benefits? I carried out my investigation.
"Nah, no hot guys there. Or they're very rare," sighed Miss Jo, a second year Accountancy student. "I just get a group of acne-ridden boys drooling in the vicinity. It can get very alarming and it sometimes even disrupts my study-time."
So is there really no hope for girls to find the love of their life in the campus library?
I interviewed my friend Token Science Nerd who was kind enough to enlighten me further.
"You won't make a match with a Science student there, we don't use it much," he stated.
That opinion came from the University's Science Faculty Forum, a meeting of undergraduate and postgraduate representatives from all the Science departments.
"The general consensus was that the library wasn't that useful to us, but the online stuff was," added Token Science Nerd. "Hence no chance to nab a sensitive young scientist [Ed: Aww ,no!]. We are the best [ed: good to know]."
Moreover, according to Token Science Nerd, "Nerds are the best boyfriends. True fact."
Intrigued, I asked him whether the male Science student population was the best-looking, to which he answered, "Well the Medical school use [the library] even less. And they are all fitties." Didn't quite answer my question but good to know nonetheless.
Yet despair and empathy for all the girls who hang out at the library began to fill my heart: Were we all really doomed to a life of spinsterness, smelly cats and knitting jumpers for charity? Were there absolutely no hot guys in the library?
"I'm sure there are, it's just that they wouldn't be scientists," said Token Science Nerd.
Oh. Ok.
So was he saying that anything other than scientists is no good?
"Nah, that's not true," avouched Token Science Nerd, "There are more nerds in Science but there are nerds elsewhere. Nerds are the best."
Oh yes? And why would nerds be the best?
"Because nerds are typically more romantic."
Fair enough.
So all is not lost, it seems.
Thus I was able to conclude my investigation with several verdicts:
One question remains, however... Where do hot and awesome male Science students hang out then?
To be continued... (You might have to wait a while as chances are I can't be bothered to find out as I'll find something more interesting to write about but I might change my mind.)
"The general consensus was that the library wasn't that useful to us, but the online stuff was," added Token Science Nerd. "Hence no chance to nab a sensitive young scientist [Ed: Aww ,no!]. We are the best [ed: good to know]."
Moreover, according to Token Science Nerd, "Nerds are the best boyfriends. True fact."
Intrigued, I asked him whether the male Science student population was the best-looking, to which he answered, "Well the Medical school use [the library] even less. And they are all fitties." Didn't quite answer my question but good to know nonetheless.
Yet despair and empathy for all the girls who hang out at the library began to fill my heart: Were we all really doomed to a life of spinsterness, smelly cats and knitting jumpers for charity? Were there absolutely no hot guys in the library?
"I'm sure there are, it's just that they wouldn't be scientists," said Token Science Nerd.
Oh. Ok.
So was he saying that anything other than scientists is no good?
"Nah, that's not true," avouched Token Science Nerd, "There are more nerds in Science but there are nerds elsewhere. Nerds are the best."
Oh yes? And why would nerds be the best?
"Because nerds are typically more romantic."
Fair enough.
So all is not lost, it seems.
Thus I was able to conclude my investigation with several verdicts:
- 1) Guys do not go to the library to study
- 2) Female students should probably arm themselves with pepper spray (especially near the Chaucer section)
- 3) Scientists are hot and awesome
- 4) Nerds make the best boyfriends
- 5) There are few hot guys in the library (claim to be confirmed, of course)
One question remains, however... Where do hot and awesome male Science students hang out then?
To be continued... (You might have to wait a while as chances are I can't be bothered to find out as I'll find something more interesting to write about but I might change my mind.)
Copyright © Caffeine Bubbles, 16 Feb 2010, Warwickshire, UK
6 comments:
Believe me, the attractive nerds are looking for you too.
Hmm... Excellent The article reveals the different facets of student life in a library setting -- some look at their books (Look?) but most do not.
I wonder how students hope to 'acquire' knowledge from that vast annex of the temple of learning called the library if their eyes keep straying from their books?
That said, amusing and 'instructive' piece! Keep it up.
Nerds are nerds -- they don't need to be attractive.
During my time (ahem) nerds were never attractive. They were nerdy but pretty? Not quite.
So this is what uni is really all about: and I've been breaking my back browsing courses, rankings etc. ;)
Thanks for sending me a link here btw! *bises*
Wow! Bubbly and catchy! Must say, change is brilliant idea.
I missed you!!
You were gone???
:P ( I kid, I kid)
Attractive nerds? Hmmm.. aren't they at the Sci Fi conventions? At least, that's what I heard.
Love the new name by the way...
((Hugs))
Laura
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